Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
