I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
