You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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