if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
