We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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