mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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