it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
