make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize