Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
