this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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