I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
