they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
