i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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