I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
