i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize