Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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