I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
