Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Randomize
