so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
