If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
