you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
pray to the hookup gods
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
