I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
