He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
