We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he thought i was a dude.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
