So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
