is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize