and you said cock pushups were impossible
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
