So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
