We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
this hospital has no fireball
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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