try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize