Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
