i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
