i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
