I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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