I wish my penis had an off switch
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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