And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
