ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
