If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
