Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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