oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
should my penis look like a turkey
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
