I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Randomize
