god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Oh god it's open bar.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
