Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
