Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
