Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
