I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
