i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
