Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
