**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
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