So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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