you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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