He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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