found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
