And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
