Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I cut my penus on the lid.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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