Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
