what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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