Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
