I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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