I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
