That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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