So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
