people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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