will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
