turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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